Warning..
I'm young and I feel like I've already seen what the world has to offer me. I speak as if things will never get better, but I know they will. But in the end, really.. what changes? I have a lot of worthless questions with no answers.
No one can exactly say because new experiences cause new outlooks on life but it is really just one large cycle, from relationship to relationship.. job to job.. family to family. It is frustrating. I don't know where I want to go because you can't truly trust anyone. Everyone has the capability to lie, and of course your going to believe what you want to hear even when the truth is staring you dead in the face.
I am sick. Disgusted... annoyed. Why be happy when it ends in the same disappointment? Well. It's great at the time. It's an experience. You learn. Screw those answers. It's going to take Mister Perfect, or some kind of intense sign for me to get into anything that could possibly end in anguish. Actually, I say that and I know that within the week, I will probably do something that will end in any of those previously stated emotions.
But I give up on trying to save myself from those things. Good people are hard to find. I miss having people in my life that already gained trust. They all seemed to spiral down into shitty people.
I hope one day they realize that.. and that I find someone with the same outlook that isn't lying.. that I won't fool myself into thinking that they are telling the truth because thats what I want to hear. HOPE.
a pessimistic lady,
SJF
